I have had a bad day and needed a little levity in it. This one did the trick. I decided to post a story which one of my husbands email buddies ( Jim Armaral) on Southern Porch told him. It is suppose to be a true one, and we all know truth is stranger than fiction. Here ya go!
The Purina Diet
"I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog...Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door."
When I read it, I started laughing and just slid out the chair and onto the floor laughing until I cried. I can just see someone asking him if he had a dog and he responded with this fib. You know how we all seem to talk to each other in the check out line, it is like it is a requirement to check out with your goods.
The joke made my evening for the most part and I felt much better after the awful day I experienced on Thursday in the Atlanta area of messy weather. It could have been worse, I could have been living in Florida. I can just see the exodus of the "snow birds" going back north of the Mason-Dixon Line in droves. You would think after all the hurricanes, and other bad weather, they would have left before this happened. Ain't no telling for some people's choices in life, I sure made a few do do bird ones myself.
Well, see you next time on the veranda where we can sip ice tea, hot coffee,or branch water and spirts, and swap yarns and gossip on the family.
Remember, share the love and kindness in your life as bread on the waters.
Georgia Peach
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